i want a smoke

ever get those moments, when you just want to scream
as long, and as hard as you possibly can
and collapse
all over yourself
and weep
in self pity
and for no reason besides the fact that you are tired
and selfish
and out of touch with reality
because the truth is too hard to face
and there is nothing you can do to change it
and you can wish for change as long, and as hard as you possibly can
and you can talk to the person who hurt you the most
and try to reconcile
but the truth is, is change will always happen
you've changed for them
and they've changed for someone else
and everything in between rapidly changes as well
and this is what you could call harmony
though, it seems and feels like cacophony