holidays in oh-eight

I'm not even going to comment on Thanksgiving. honestly i cant even remember it. other than the instance when my moms brother had a fit about my aunt talking about their dad, my grandpa whom i've never met. it was a strange thing. my mom's sister, my aunt, was simply recalling a time when her father told her she would never go to the prom. it was sad hearing about this since i love my aunt Kathy. i believe she's crazy. in her own way of course which i can always appreciate. and i wish i could have said something, but nothing would have been adequate in that situation since she seems to have recovered from my grandfather's abuse. she never did go to her prom.



the uncles on my dad's side are all fun just to look at. not because they look funny or ugly or anything. looking at them is like reading a story. for one, you can tell that they are all related right away. and second, from my innate senses from being a part of this family i can distinguish a Schmidt from anyone else right away. its my favourite thing to do, and to be in a room full of them is just hilarious to me. every year is the same at Christmas in my grandmas house. i walk in, late because i dont particularly like it there. and everyone flashes smiles. fake or not its still amusing. the day ravels on with awkward cousins and ridiculous uncles. sometimes its worth it.



this year was basically the same. i added a little extra spice to my christmas this year though. not so much of a good spice though. someone important never contacted me. my time is up and now i am officially alone and stuck. i have to admit i'm a little scared. no, i'm very scared. and sad.

i am very very sad.